Redemption
by Rose Madder
Summary: Has the Source completely overtaken Cole's body? As Phoebe's life is hanging on a thread, Cole has one last chance to show who's really in control. COMPLETE
1. Phoebe

Warning #1: S-P-O-I-L-E-R! Don't read this story if you don't like them.

Warning #2: As I write this story, the last episode aired in Brazil was "The Three Faces of Phoebe". I'm writing a final scene for season 4, based only on spoilers, so I can't guarantee it will fit in the story.

Warning #3 (I know, lots of warnings!): English is not my mother language so, you know, be patient.

* * * * * * * * * *

Credits: Robert's Frost quotation is from his poem "Death of the Hired Man", "Blessed" is a song from Elton John, and as for the characters, I don't own then, yada yada yada...

* * * * * * * * * *

Okay, here is the scenario: the Source has taken over Cole's body and now he and Phoebe rule the Underworld, as they wait for the birth of their son and heir.

Lots of tears are to be expected, you know what Angst stands for. You gotta trust me and read it 'till the end to see where the story goes.

Now, as one of my favorite writers says: take my hand, hold it tight and let me lead you through a very dark tunnel, and I promise you we're all gonna make it to the other side.

*** * * * * Phoebe * * * * ***

__

"Hey you, you're a child in my head  
You haven't walked yet  
Your first words have yet to be said"

Phoebe is lying on her back, staring at the ceiling and wishing the baby would stop kicking for a moment. She was so excited when he did it for the first time... and so was Cole: a soft smile hovers around her lips as she recalls the look on his face the first time she took his hand and placed it on her belly so that he could feel the baby move. His eyes were filled with wonder as he gasped and smiled at her. He was just like... _himself_, whispers a voice in the back of her head, _his real self, the one you almost never see anymore_. She silences up this nagging voice and sighs heavily. Anyway, what about a break so that mommy can have some rest now?

"Will you stop that?" she mutters at her prominent abdomen. "It's not funny any more: it hurts."

Is it her imagination or has the baby just kicked harder?

"Oh, well, maybe I deserve it..." she sighs, bringing herself to a sitting position. "Grams used to say that when mom was pregnant of me..."

She bites her lower lip, not daring to finish the sentence. There's a limit for how much denial a person can be in, and pretending your mother would approve your becoming Queen of the Underworld and the mother of the Source's heir definitely crosses that line.

"Ma'am?"

The voice of the demon standing fearfully on the doorway startles her, and she glares at him, making him wince.

"What do you want?" she asks, coldly.

"The Master requires that you go to his presence."

She watches in disgust as the scared creature bows several times.

"Tell him I'll be with him in a minute."

"Yes, Ma'am."

He bows a couple of more times before leaving the room.

Phoebe slowly stands up: the baby seems to have fallen asleep, or maybe he just got tired of kicking. She moves carefully towards the door, unaware of the hooded figure that has just shimmered in the corner of the room and is now stepping out off the shadows, looking at her with intense eyes full of hate.


	2. Piper

*** * * * * Piper * * * * ***

When Leo orbs in the kitchen, he finds Piper and Paige working on a smelly mixture. He grimaces at the smell that comes from the pot, but at least Piper is out of their bedroom, keeping herself busy. Also, her eyes are clear, her hair is neatly pulled into a ponytail, and her hands are steady.

"Hey, busy bee." he says as he walks towards his wife and plants a kiss on her forehead.

"Hey, husband." she leans on his chest as he holds her, and Leo smiles to Paige over his wife's head.

Paige smiles back at him. It's so good to see Piper doing what she knows best, and -- at least for the moment -- not moaning over Phoebe.

"What are you doing?" he asks, glancing at the source of the revolting smell.

"Vanquishing potion." she says, nonchalantly.

"Demons around?" he asks, frowning.

"Nope." says Piper, turning off the stove and starting to pour the mixture into a series of bottles arranged on the table. "Just thought we should have some prepared. You know how the vanquishing potions to upper level demons are all the same, all you have to do is add a slice of their flesh. So we've prepared the main potion, and will freeze it and stock it. It'll save precious time next time one of them is stupid enough to cross our path."

"Honey," says Leo, hugging her from behind, "I think we've already gone thru this in the past. You know, repressing your pain, directing it to anger..." He gently nuzzles her neck and adds, trying to sound lighthearted: "You wouldn't like to hang with those Furies again, would you?"

"Leo," she says, turning around and touching his face affectionately, "I think we all know that lately I have done nothing but rubbing my pain in your face. And Paige's." she adds, giving her sister a sheepish smile. "Now I've decided it's time to move on. With my life, with our life, with the Charmed Ones' life." -- a shadow crosses her face but she smiles bravely -- "And that includes being prepared to demonic attacks. But don't worry: I won't go chasing demons, I learned my lesson then. I just think we should be prepared."

"Now," she says, turning back to the bottles, "would you start closing those I've already filled and putting them on the freezer?"


	3. The Seer

*** * * * * The Seer * * * * ***

As she looks at the woman walking towards the door, her face is distorted with hate.

"You think you're very special," she thinks, "because you're gonna give him a son. So special that you're gonna ask him to get rid of me, his loyal servant, in the near future. Well, my lady, unfortunately for you, this loyal servant can see the future. And I don't intend to let my Master make this terrible mistake."

The Seer raises an athame as she silently approaches Phoebe from behind.


	4. Cole

*** * * * * Cole * * * * ***

__

"I know you're still just a dream  
your eyes might be green  
Or the bluest that I've ever seen"

He paces back and forth, impatiently. Why is she taking so long? He hates to wait, have always hated. With a grunt of exasperation, he leaves the room, heading towards their chamber. Any other creature that dared to keep him waiting like this would be signing their own death sentence. But Phoebe, she is... she's Phoebe, he thinks, shrugging, feeling a little embarrassed even though he hasn't said it out loud. She's the reason why he still fights the evil that has been trying to completely take him over; he may be the Source of all evil when he's sitting on his throne, ruling the Underworld, but when they're alone in their chamber, sometimes it's almost like before, like they used to be before... Whatever. She's the one who's never turned her back on him. Not even when everyone else did. _Did they?_ -- Phoebe's not the only one who has been struggling with little annoying voices inside her head _-- or was it you who turned your back on them? _He shakes his head and angrily snaps the voice away.

He enters the room just in time to see the Seer grab Phoebe's hair from behind, pulling her head back and cutting her exposed throat with a fluid movement.

"Phoebe!" he cries as the Seer lets go off her and Phoebe's body collapses on the floor.

The terrified woman doesn't have time to say anything before an energy ball hits her, killing her instantly. Cole doesn't give her a second look as he kneels besides his wife's body, now lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood.

"Phoebe! Baby, no!" he takes her in his arms, for a terrifying moment unable to think, unable to do anything but call her name in despair. Phoebe breaths faintly, making horrible gurgling noises as the air passes through her open throat. Her eyes meet his and she tries to speak, but only blood comes out of her mouth.

"Shh, don't talk, baby," he says through the tears, "don't say a word, it's gonna be okay, I, uh, I'm gonna fix this."

A tear rolls down her face as she raises her hand and reaches out to stroke his cheek weakly. Then she leans her head on his arm and closes her eyes.

"No, baby, oh no, baby, please! Phoebe, don't do that to me!"

He gazes around, his mind working frantically. What should he do? What can he do?


	5. Leo

*** * * * * Leo * * * * ***

The three people sitting together in the living room jump to their feet when Cole shimmers in front of them, carrying an unconscious Phoebe in his arms, both of them covered with her blood.

Piper screams in horror as she sees her sister lying still in Cole's arms, her face already starting to turn an ominous shade of gray. Cole doesn't pay more attention to her than he does to Paige's shocked gasp: he turns to Leo and says curtly:

"Heal her."

He's shocked beyond words when Leo says, gravely:

"No."

"W-what?"

"I can't heal evil." says Leo.

"Uh... what?" -- Cole stares at him, dumbfounded -- "You... you..."

"I can't heal evil." says Leo again, looking at the pale figure in Cole's arms and feeling his heart break.

"You... you healed me in the past."

"And it seems we're still paying for that mistake." says Paige, coldly.

Cole doesn't acknowledge her bitter remark, still staring at Leo in utter despair.

"Leo, for God's sake, she's dying!" he begs.

As Leo doesn't answer, Cole turns to Piper.

"Piper, talk to him. You... she, she's your sister, damn it!" he yells, tears rolling from his eyes and mixing with the blood that covers his chest. "You can't just let her die!"

Piper starts to cry softly, looking at Phoebe. Seeing that no help will come from her, Cole turns to Paige, becoming more frantic as he plays his last card.

"Paige..." he starts, but Paige cuts him short.

"You should have thought of this before you took her to the Underworld." she says sharply.

Cole's eyes go from face to face in agony.

"No, you... you can't... it's not..." he babbles.

"Leave her alone." says Piper in a hoarse voice. "She's dying, leave her alone, at least now. Give her the peace you didn't let her have in life."

She takes a step in his direction, her eyes showing so much pain and anger that he winces.

"Please..." he says, "Please, Leo, what do you want? Do you want me to beg? I am begging, damn it, save her!"

"Save her body?" says Leo, angrily. "What for? Just to watch her lose her soul? I'd rather see her dead."

"Piper is right." says Paige, taking one step forward and standing by Piper's side. "Leave her alone, let her die at home, surrounded by her family. Leave her here and get the hell out of our house."

"She's not evil." says Cole, out of the blue.

"She's not evil." he repeats. "She has never killed an innocent, she won't be evil until she does that, until she uses her powers to kill an innocent."

He's speaking very fast now, knowing that he won't have another chance.

"She cannot go back to the Underworld by herself, and I'll make sure no one helps her to get there. Once she's stayed here with you for some time, she'll get back to who she was."

He finally has to stop to breathe, and Piper says:

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about her staying here with you." he says, tensely. "If Leo heals her, I won't take her back to the Underworld. I'm out of her life, I'm out of your life, I..." his voice trails off and he says hoarsely to Leo: "Just heal her."

Piper hides her eyes, but not so fast that he can't see the sparkle of hope in them.

"You want her back, Piper. You know you do. She's your sister." he says, hopefully.

But Piper regains her wits and stares firmly at him.

"You know it's not possible. Don't try to play games with us. She's your wife. You planned it all very well: she'll follow you rather than us. We've been through this before, with Prue. The only reason we haven't become evil, too, is because Paige is just her half sister and I'm already married to Leo."

Cole feels the room revolve around him, as he realizes that what she's saying is true: Phoebe cannot be good because he's evil. He vividly remembers the incident Piper is talking about, even though she doesn't know that. Phoebe had lied to her sisters, saying she had vanquished him. Then, Prue was kidnapped and forced to marry a warlock, and she asked for his help. He found out what had happened, but not before she and Piper almost turned into warlocks, too. For a brief moment, he feels himself traveling back in time, taken back to Phoebe's room, to the words he said to her then: 

__

"That is not how I want you to be. It's not how I want us to be. Our only chance is if we're both good."

When was that? One year ago? It feels more like one lifetime ago.

He lowers his eyes to his wife, slowly bleeding to death in his arms, along with their unborn son.

"What happened to us, Phoebe?" he thinks. "That's not how it was supposed to be, that's not how we said it would be."

Then he straightens up and faces Piper again.

"This can be solved." he says, gravely. Piper, Paige and Leo watch, puzzled, as he gently lays Phoebe on the sofa, then opens his hand and an athame materializes on it. Paige lets out a small cry as he raises the athame and with a quick movement cuts a thin slice of his own arm.

When the slice of his flesh falls to the ground, he kneels down, picks it up and hands it to Piper.

"Prepare a vanquishing potion." As she looks at him in shocked surprise, he adds: "After Leo heals her, you'll vanquish me. Just..." -- he looks at his wife and his lips shiver -- "just let me say goodbye to her."

His head is aching like hell now, the evil inside him roaring against his decision, but this time he won't listen to it. _Not anymore_, he thinks.

"Can it be done, Leo?" Piper asks in a voice that's little more than a whisper, a glint of hope in her eyes.

As Leo nods, speechless, Paige quickly snatches the slice from Cole's hand and runs to the kitchen.

Cole and Piper watch nervously as Leo's hands hover above Phoebe's throat. For what feels like an eternity, nothing happens; then the blood starts to retract and the wound starts to close.

Piper gasps and lets herself fall on an armchair, covering her mouth with a trembling hand, while Cole silently sits beside Phoebe on the sofa, unable to find his voice. Being vanquished will be nothing compared to what he's about to do, and he knows that.

Phoebe opens her eyes and looks around, confused.

"What...? Leo?" -- she looks at the Whitelighter, that stands up and looks at her with tears in his own eyes, then at her sister. Finally, she touches Cole's face gently:

"Baby..." she calls softly, making Piper shiver.

Cole pulls her towards him, holding her with a mixture of relief and despair.

"I love you..." he whispers, his voice muffled because his face is hidden in her hair.

She holds him back, frightened by the despair in his voice.

"What happened?"

"You were hurt. I brought you. Leo healed you." -- his voice is hoarse, his sentences curt.

"He did? You did?" she looks at Leo over Cole's shoulder, and he nods, sitting on the arm of the same armchair Piper is sitting in, and holding his wife's hand in his.

"Cole, what's wrong?" Phoebe asks, finally taking Cole's face in her hands and forcing him to face her. "Why are you crying? Is something wrong with the baby?"

As if to answer her question, the baby kicks again. She touches her belly almost absently, her attention turned to Cole's tormented face.

"No," he says, "I just..." he touches her face with a hand still covered with her blood. "Phoebe, Leo can't heal evil: the only way for him to heal you..." He takes a deep breath and forces himself to proceed: "You can't go back with me."

"W-what?" -- Phoebe's eyes grow round -- "No. No!" -- she grabs his hand fiercely -- "No! No, you're my husband, I'm going with you."

Cole opens his mouth, but she won't let him speak.

"You can't do that to me, Cole, you cannot leave me, you hear me? I'm your freaking wife, I'm following you wherever you go!" -- her voice rises in pitch as she becomes near hysterical.

"Where I'm going you cannot follow me, Phoebe." he murmurs.

"Like hell I can't..." -- she stops short, panic building inside her as she starts to understand -- "What do you mean? What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna set you" -- he touches her face, then her belly -- "and our son free."

"Baby," she begs, "baby, stop that, you're scaring me, please take me home."

"You are home, Phoebe." he says, tears rolling through his face. "You should have never left; you belong in here."

"But you..."

"It's too late for me, my love. But it's not too late for you. Nor it is for our son. Please, Phoebe. Stay with your sisters."

She's sobbing now, and he has to gather all his strength to force himself to go with this until the end, knowing he's breaking her heart in order to save her soul. He takes her hand and kisses it passionately.

"Remember," he says, touching the wedding ring in her finger, "remember what I said when I gave you this ring? I told you," -- his voice trails off, but he forces himself to proceed, felling that he's running out of time -- "I told you to remember that I'd always love you, no matter what. And I do, Phoebe. I do. I screwed up every good thing that's ever come my way. No other demon has had so many chances as I did, and I blew them all. And I'm sorry." He glances ever so briefly towards Piper and Leo, then quickly hides his eyes from theirs and turns back to Phoebe. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean things to turn out the way they did, I swear. Please let me do the right thing now."

She's crying uncontrollably as he stands up and looks at Paige, who's standing at the doorway holding the bottle with the vanquishing potion. He's a mess, all blood and tears, but his eyes are clear and his voice is steady as he says:

"Throw the potion."

Paige is surprised to find herself frozen in place. Her hand is tightly gripped around the bottle, but she can't bring herself to throw the potion at the man standing in front of her, covered with her sister's blood.

With an irritated gesture, he throws a low voltage energy ball at her hand, making her scream and drop the bottle. As it hits the floor and shatters, spilling the potion on both of them, Cole explodes in flames and cries in agony. Phoebe's cries are as loud as his, and although it only lasts a few seconds, for the people standing in the manor it feels like forever.

__

"I need you before I'm too old  
To have and to hold  
To walk with you and watch you grow"


	6. Ben

*** * * * * Ben * * * * ***

Piper holds on the best she can as her left hand is crushed by Phoebe's deathgrip.

"Come on, sweetie," she says, using her free hand to wipe the sweat-soaked hair from her sister's forehead, "You're doing good."

Phoebe pants through another contraction and squeezes tighter, making Piper clench her teeth.

"This is so unfair, Piper!" she says, tears popping from her eyes, "Cole should be here."

"I know, sweetie." says Piper gently, "and I'm sure wherever he is..."

Before she finishes her sentence, the door slams open and Cole bursts in.

"I'm sorry, baby, I got caught in the traffic, tried to reach Leo on the cell phone, but this damn thing!..." he says as he takes Piper's place by his wife's side.

"I can take it from here." he says, smiling at his sister in law.

"You'll bet you can." she mutters with a mockery smile, massaging her hand.

"Hey, dad, you almost missed all the fun." says the doctor, as Piper leaves the labor room and goes join Leo, Paige and Victor in the waiting room.

Cole smiles briefly at him before turning his attention back to Phoebe.

"Are you okay, baby?" he asks, holding her hand and kissing her forehead.

"I'll be better when this is over." she says with a faint smile. Then another contraction strikes her and she screams in pain, squeezing his hand tight. Caught completely off guard, Cole screams along with her.

"Okay, Phoebe, time to start pushing." says the doctor.

When she squeezes his hand again, Cole is prepared and squeezes back, astonished at the strength contained in the small hand that almost disappears inside his own.

She has her eyes closed and her head lies back as she pushes hard. For a moment, Cole imagines he can see the line where her throat was cut open months ago. He can't of course, there are no scars on her throat, Whitelighter's powers beat any plastic surgery technique.

The events from that afternoon come back to his mind once again. He was prepared for the pain; he knew pain. He was the only demon who could say he knew how it felt to be vanquished: he had gone through this when Belthazor had been vanquished, and he was ready to what was about to come, or so he thought. What he wasn't prepared for was the vertiginous fall that followed. He never knew if he was really falling or if it was just his mind trying to decode the experience into something his senses could understand. It did feel like he was falling, sinking into a dark, cold abyss. He was barely aware of the Source's howls as they were separated and he too seemed to be finding his way into the abyss. During his fall, all the warmth seemed to be leaving his body, as all the hope left his heart. Every pleasant experience he had ever had, every good feeling was being taken away from him. "That's it?" he thought, "An eternity of emptiness and coldness? That's what awaits me? Please God give me the burning hell and the malicious demons, but not this, please not this!" When he felt the firm grip around his wrist, he shrieked in terror. Then he saw Leo's face hovering above his. _"What are you doing?"_ Before his lips could form the words to express his thought, he was startled to hear Leo's answer inside his mind: _"Taking you back home"_. Indeed he could feel his fall stop short, and eagerly grabbed the other man's hand.

He can hardly remember what happened next, except that when Leo let go off his hand he was shaking so badly that he fell on his knees in front of Phoebe, and hide his face on her lap, relishing her loving touch and warmth. He was barely aware of a trembling Piper somewhere near, hugging Leo, and of Paige's voice babbling something about enough being enough.

"I've seen the gates of Hell," was his first rational thought, "I've been to the gates of Hell and lived to tell the story."

The thought of how close he had been of dragging his wife and son along with him to the same fate was almost unbearable. If she had just killed one innocent... He wanted to say he was sorry, wanted to beg her to forgive him, but he just couldn't seem to find his voice. When he finally raised his head from her lap, all he could do was stare at the others in utter bewilderment. He felt exausted and shaken, and frankly none of them looked very good, either.

"Why?" he finally managed to ask in a tired voice.

"The Elders gave me permission to go after you." said Leo, gravely. Seeing Cole's perplexed look, he added: "You made your choice; it's never too late when it comes to do the right choice."

"The Source...?" he didn't dare to put it down in words.

"Vanquished. For good."

Cole felt his head spin and squeezed the hand Phoebe rested on his shoulder.

"So," he said, looking nervously at the four people gathered around him. Being the only one sitting on the floor, he was in a very awkward position, having to raise his head to face them. "What happens now?"

"Now," said Leo, fondling Piper's hair, "I guess we start it over again, and hopefully learn from our mistakes."

He looked to their tired faces in astonishment. They were gonna let him stay? After what he had done? Then Piper left Leo's embrace and reached out for Phoebe. As Paige and Leo joined them on the sofa, Phoebe thankfully nested in the arms of her family. He was still sitting at her feet, and sort of got caught in the mess of loving arms and hands.

What was that that Robert Frost once wrote? "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in." With a sigh, he closed his eyes and rested his head on Phoebe's knees, choosing not to question his good fortune. They were home again. At last.

Later that day, he approached Leo and timidly tried to thank him. Now, if that wasn't irony... Who would have thought he would ever feel embarassed in the Whitelighter's presence? Yet, he was. And he was deeply surprised when Leo raised a hand to silence him up.

"Don't." he said. "Just prove me right."

Sure it wasn't easy. It still isn't. He still wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, but at least it doesn't happen every night as it did during those first weeks. He knows that the memory will never fade completely, as neither will the scar on his arm, of the wound he didn't let Leo heal. He wants it to be here, as a reminder of what could have happened. Whenever he feels like letting anger and pride taking over, frustrated with all the rules, the limitations of being human, his lack of powers, he touches it and remembers why he's doing this.

It wasn't easy for Phoebe, either. She and her sisters had to work hard on their issues, but the day finally came when they had to use the Power of Three again. Now that was something that couldn't be faked: either it was there, or it wasn't. And it was, alright. While Piper, Phoebe and Paige watched as another demon went with a bang, Cole looked at Leo, and the evident relief in the Whiteligther's face told Cole that he wasn't the only one who had worried about it.

"Why in hell do women have babies?!?" -- Phoebe's voice brings him back to the present.

"Phoebe, you..."

"Shut up, you're not the one giving birth!" she yells.

"But I thought I was..."

"Honey," she says, panting, "you know that stuff they said in the prenatal classes, about coaching and everything?"

"Yes?" he asks, hesitantly.

"It's bullshit. Your job here is to stay quiet and hold my hand, okay?"

"Okay. Do you..."

"What have I just said about talking?" she says, with a look that would have made a less brave man -- or one whose hand wasn't clasped in hers -- leave the room in fear.

"No talking." he quickly says.

Another contraction makes her close her eyes and squeeze his hand, and he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut and squeeze back.

"We're almost there, Phoebe!" says the doctor, making Cole's heart jump.

He remembers how terrified they were that their son could be evil. They had Leo check him up, they pressed the Book of Shadows against Phoebe's abdomen, trusting its ability to protect itself from evil, they even scried Phoebe's abdomen, and they'd probably have kept trying all sort of weird things if Piper hadn't finally made then stop. None of their attempts showed anything other than a normal, healthy, human baby, and oh God, now he was on his way.

"Just one more push, Phoebe, come on, push hard!"

Phoebe screams again and this time she's rewarded by the sight of a very angry baby in the doctor's arms, crying strongly to show his discontentment for having just been expelled from his safe, comfortable womb.

"Hi, Ben." she says softly, as her baby is placed in her arms. "Hi, sweetie, I'm your mommy. And this" -- she motions her head towards a very amazed Cole -- "is your daddy."

Ben's cries slowly diminish, while his mom and dad look at him with eyes filled with love and wonder. Cole hesitantly reaches out his hand and gasps as his son closes a tiny hand over his finger.

"Now can we **_please_** come in?" says Paige, stucking her head in the door.

Without waiting for an answer, she, Piper, Leo and Victor enter the room and gather around the bed.

"Hey, everybody," says the proud new dad, "meet Benjamin Coleridge Turner II, heir of the love of his family, a '99 Buick..."

"... assuming his mom and dad will actually make it to the last payment..." says Phoebe, grinning.

Cole nods with a smile and proceeds:

"...one third of a manor at Prescott Street... and nothing else, I'm afraid." he adds, with a sheepish smile.

"From where I stand," says Paige, smiling as she reaches out to fondle the baby's hair, "little Ben seems to find it more than enough."

__

"And you, you'll be blessed  
You'll have the best  
I promise you that  
I'll pick a star from the sky  
Pull your name from a hat  
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that  
You'll be blessed"

**The End  
(Next installment: "The Demon's Advocate")**


End file.
